Why Free College is a F*cking Horrible Idea

We are 5th graders being shuffled into the auditorium for a special assembly. Today is the final debate before we all return to our classrooms and scribble our votes for class president onto small pieces of paper that we will fold in half as many times as we can (just for fun) before slipping them through the slit of the wooden ballot box.

Today is the candidates’ last chance to get our attention.

“Pizza Fridays!” The first candidate promises.